Tags
eternal nothingness, home beyond heaven, inner journey, mindfulness meditation, radiant void, spiritual evolution
In meditation this morning, a regular mindfulness exercise, watching the breath and observing the thoughts and emotions accompanying the inflow and outflow, I found myself moving towards that home beyond heaven, the radiant void, the great unmanifest from which we, and everything else, springs. Though it is not the purpose of mindfulness meditation to go anywhere and be anything other than a breathing being dispassionately observing, I felt resisting the impulse would be as counterproductive as embracing it, so I went with the flow as a leaf on the breeze.
I arrive in that “there” which of course, is “not-there” and feel as if I had never left and that the very idea of “I” (as so used here) is laughable. Later, I am reminded of the phrase “being-consciousness-bliss” and try to recall which tradition it comes from. But while “there” I am conscious of a bliss that is serene rather than effervescent, an understanding of pure being that is uninterrupted by the various activities of incarnation: the births, the deaths, the sufferings, the joys, the ambitions, the fulfillment, the frustrations, the disappointments. I feel omniscient and omnipresent and yet tucked quite comfortably in a tiny corner. I know that the multiverse of created worlds and beings continues to thrive in its constant change, but I do not wish to join the energetic dance of activity. I am humming along quite nicely on my own thank you! A more cosmic version of the afternoon nap, one might smile.
And yet I know I am inextricably intertwined with with every other focus of consciousness, either resident or visiting this “there” that is “not-there”. I know I am complete, that no further achievement in the adventures of incarnation will make me any better, that no practice will make me any more selfless, as there is no self to improve; that no service to others will make me any more worthy, for I am not in any way worthless to begin with, and there are, ultimately, no real others to serve. The preceeding definitions are all inventions of religions, elaborate rules which enslave the timid and ignorant and justify the existence of those who craft them.
As the hungry have to forage and hunt to survive, so the sinner has to surrender strive to become perfected. These may be the rules of the plane we inhabit, but they are useless in the light we come from. “There”, there are no needs or efforts required. We are beings radiating our beingness. Though our beingness blooms more with added life experiences it is still, in essence, our being. A rose is a rose is a rose: blooming is what it does.
Planets, civilizations, prophets and deities: all fall away as unnecessary “there”, for we have no need of their guidance or restrictions. They are forms we enter, from time to time, to exercise the vanity of ambition and aspiration. We may fail, we may succeed, we may flounder. Yet none of that matters ultimately. All of it is only information resulting from an adventure, information that can be usefully applied in further adventures.
The hunter blending with his prey in the bloody death struggle, the mother dying in the act of giving birth, the peasant merging with soil and seed to facilitate harvest, the noble exercising authority to restrain and reward: eventually all become stars in the infinite firmament. As Aiwass said in 1904, through Mr. Crowley, “Every man and woman is a star”. Endless evolution through the worlds of form imply that outcome. Rock, river, plant, tree; fish, fowl, animal wild and domesticated, human. fairy and angel: all are stops along the way, all are vehicles for spirit projected. And where once doubt might reign regarding the numbers, modern astronomy seems to indicate that equation is not so far off the mark. Billions of stars are out there, all madly racing away from us, apparently.
When I returned from meditation, I yawned and stretched. My joints were stiff and I was beginning to feel hungry. Our world, one of many, had resumed its customary role. I grinned in my gratitude, ready to desire, consume and be of service, for I know that the paradoxes of this apparent journey can, ultimately, only be surrendered to and embraced. Fighting them on the grounds of injured rationality gets you nowhere. As Woody Allen once wrote, “Eternal nothingness is just fine as long as you are dressed for it”.
Thanks again, Gordon. I believe it was in “Eternal Life” where you or Henry described ego as the part of us that ascribes importance and relevance to our lives. Can’t live with it, can’t live without it, eh? Reading this post, I long to remember that feeling of completeness, worthiness, and timelessness. It’s exhausting just thinking about it sometimes—the endless striving to overcome dangers and limitations, the urge to create the “new”, the yeses, nos, and maybes, and the compulsions to influence and crusade. I think this may be why I respond so well to your writing and perspective…your humor and nonchalance help the medicine go down.
You’re most welcome Dave! Despite visiting “the bliss beyond heaven” in meditation from time to time, I hear you loud and clear. “Our compulsions to influence and crusade”: sure, I feel that too. Regularly. “Humor and nonchalance”…I seem to specialize in those, yes?
Gord,
How BEING feels is hard to describe and you did a great job. Loved the nod to the peasant- thats moi. hope all is well in your corner of the world of form.
G-
You are very gracious Gretchen, and I thank you for it. It’s winter here, finally, but looks like it’ll last for about two more days. More rain than anything. No gardening, so lots of movies and books. You know, cultured hibernation.
I love your “humor and nonchalance.” You are changing my spiritual outlook about my life. I wonder if you ever become so immersed in being “Gordon” that your forget your “lightness of being” sometimes? Is there anything that truly distracts you?
Thanks Vicki! And yes, I do become immersed and get distracted. I am a psychic/spiritual explorer, and definitely not a saint!
Daily activities and stresses can, and do, get to me; no question. Just the same stuff everyone has to cope with really. Perhaps I deal with them better than most? Maybe, but not really for me to say. The thing I notice most is that folk who come to see for counseling etc., seem more hyper and agitated. I often feel very serene next to them. That’s not 24/7 serenity for sure, but I do seem more adept than most in that realm.
Also, it would be fair to say that at my “level” it can be a challenge to actually be happy on this plane as I know better than most how wonderful it is elsewhere in the planes. Others might wonder and/or think about the transcendent joy of the paradise realms, but I can summon them up/recall them clearly and easily, so it’s best if I try not to do that as it can make me very dissatisfied with “here”.
thankx, it was like a refreshing walk in home grounds. I think that home feeling will be shortly coming to groundedness here in a more tangible way. same here most I am around seem more agitated than myself although I’m not a counselor, I can feel my aura surrounding people on occassion while I’m not consciously doing anything but being. yet I can get off balance; I think the periods of inbalance get shorter and shorter to observe the self in the role playing we seem to do here. all life is a stage for me. literally. there’s no reason to make much ado about nothing really. thankx again for all your wonderful blogs.
“that home feeling will be shortly coming to groundedness here in a more tangible way”… that’s quite the 2012 thought Miss Rain. I shall remember that. I continue to be glad that you find a home here.