In which life I might add, smugly. And you, hopefully, would chuckle, knowing the play implied. For in each of our game playing experiments we arrive shrouded in a variety of self and society imposed disguises, in which we wiggle and struggle to ascertain who is really us beneath all those trappings. And between duties and fears and doubts there is often not much space to do so. Not to mention many forces pressing us to conform to laws and customs already established by the self appointed wise and powerful. And in many lives we fail, mostly due to those forces, boxing us in and tiring us with their demands.
We proceeded to their heavens, relieved, chastened, triumphant, reunited, and gradually unfolding into the luscious gardens of paradise, kindly provided by those who went before. Heaven being the ‘happydeadland’ it is, with little to challenge us in our well deserved blissful recovery mode, drifts by serenely, with us as its sky-happy clouds.
As our store of relief and left over desire slowly diminishes inside the places of joy and pleasure we there inhabit, we drift upward beyond the grasp of community and identity into the carefree textures of being and knowing that is our home. As young souls with fewer expeditions under our belts, we would drift through this space in blissful dream, returning to the rigours of incarnation, renewed and ready for battle, but with only a few sparks of divinity flickering under the cloaks of our new disguises. Sparks easily tamed, corrected and retooled by whomever ruled the new roost. Chieftain, warlord, king, priest shaman, bishop, CEO, bigbossman.
As we progressed, however painfully and slowly, through these repeated attempts at surfacing above the tides which craved our submission, we inched towards the freedom of understanding the systems which held us in place and preferred our slavery to any individual expression of ‘I am not that, I am this’, we occasionally discovered the courage to self-create. A mood, a song, a secret place, a ritual, an assemblage, the perfect arc of a diver. As braver more mature souls we entered the phase of expression and repression, where the entrenched belief systems sought to stamp out whatever innovations we initiated. And suppress us they did: every option and action was a heresy at some point, a heresy, a threat or illegal.
But that suppression trained us in bravery and cunning, and although slaughtered we survived to fight another day with fresh impetus and new DNA. And in some of those earlier adventures into the shadows of tethered beliefs we managed to find the light and know ourselves within it. If but for moments we stood free, free of not only others’ definitions but any definition. We knew who we were, without any words to describe us. We confronted our immortalities and knew our share of divinity. How we later incorporated that shade of god into our projections was up to us. Sometimes we increased our store of knowing, sometimes we lost to late-breaking doubts and resurgences of powers and principalities.
The ‘I’ of the title confronted his/her immortality in various guises throughout this residence on Earth, this gamboling upon Gaia. And when ‘I’ meditate and plunge across time from its heights,’I’ can touch the understanding auras of those who have surfaced from the drowning tides of their times. The Egyptian priest, the Druid, the monk, the courtesan. We smile from our islands, knowing. Others see me as angel, demon, sprite, ghost, guide, emissary of Pan, spawn of satan, and so on.
In this tryout for the ascended team I confronted my immortality by going out of body and exploring. For years I roamed before ‘Gordon’ came to know. He was busy suffering and reading, but I knew he’d come around. The emotions and intellect required full expression before the game of freedom could be played. In my nightly freedom dance there was no waiting, though it might have seemed so. Time flies when you’re having fun. It still does, now that ‘Gordon’ knows and willingly participates.
I have confronted my immortality by admitting it in public. The ebook of the unfolding details is now available, and ‘I’ surf its waves gleefully. Confronting your immortality and embracing your divinity: may I encourage you all to step up to that plate.